nothing in the rulebook

Listen you mother fucker,

There are no mixed messages.

We are backed by everybody

Even the haters and the losers

 

Please don’t feel stupid or insecure

I’ve never had any trouble in bed

I always insist on being politically correct

You have to treat women like shit

 

I could be dating my daughter,

Ivanka,

Look at that face!

We have a very good relationship,

Believe me.

 

I have the highest I.Q.

I am a really smart guy

Very, very, very intelligent

All I know is what’s on the internet:

1. We could use a big fat dose of global warming
2. You can never be too greedy
3. Pregnancy is certainly an inconvenience for a business,

 

Sometimes –

I wish I was a black,

I have a great relationship with the blacks.

I have black guys counting my money

So I am the least racist person,

 

It must be a pretty picture,

A great, great wall,

Nobody builds walls better than me,

Believe me,

I’ll build them very inexpensively,

Thank you for listening.

~ Anonymous 

 

A note on the above poem: 

All the lines of ‘Thank you for listening’ are taken, verbatim, from Donald Trump speeches, Tweets, interviews or recorded comments. For a fully referenced version of the poem please send the NITRB team an email!