Dr Chuck Tingle’s writing tips for writers

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Good writing advice is hard to find. We’ve previously compiled various collections of writing tips from some of literature’s greatest minds; but we’re always looking to go one step further. As writers and creatives, our learning is built on the mentoring and advice of our peers and our mentors. The imparted knowledge they can share with us part of a long-standing tradition within the arts of helping one another to express ourselves.

Of course, the best type of writing advice is that which transcends the topic and becomes advice not just to inspire our best creative work; but also becomes advice by which we can live by, day-to-day.

Where can one find such advice, we hear you ask? Well, right here in this article, friendos!

In April 2018, we were honoured to interview Dr Chuck Tingle as part of our ‘Creatives in Profile’ series. The Hugo Award-shortlisted author of Space Raptor Butt Invasion and My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass, and self-proclaimed as the “greatest author in the world” during one of the most incredible Reddit AMAs to date,  Dr Chuck Tingle provided some tip-top advice to keep in mind when writing a book (and it doesn’t have anything to do with word counts). He explained:

“most important thing to keep in mind when making all things as ARTISTIC BUCKAROO is to prove love that is only thing that matters really everything else is just decoration. there are so many ways to prove love so there are lots of options, but it is very important to REMEMBER that only rule for all layers of the tingleverse is that love is real this is consistant across all timelines.”

On the subject of creativity, and what it means to be creative, Tingle opines:

“being creative is just being yourself and trotting with YOUR OWN unique way. just waking up in the morning and stetching your bones is creative because every moment is making infinate timelines. you are so powerful in your way because for every decision there are so many new worlds spinning off and if that isnt dang creative i dont know what is thanks”

 

10 writing tips from Dr Chuck Tingle

Alongside his other timeless advice for writers, creatives, and just all-round human beings – Tingle also provided us with a short list of more prescriptive pieces of advice for writers. Read them below:

  1. drink chocolate milk buddy not that sick water throw that out
  2. you are important and so is your way. this is already a story that can be told
  3. the void is not worth your curiostiy
  4. listen to your buds
  5. there is something to learn from traditional horseplay and there is something to be learned from modern trots. respect both
  6. dont try to tell people what art is you will always be wrong
  7. there is not very much that separates you from a big timers sometimes it is hard work and sometimes it is luck but its almost never talent
  8. spend time with your family
  9. have gratitude if you dont youll look like a goofball and youll feel like one too
  10. prove love always
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Creatives in profile: interview with Dr Chuck Tingle

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A few years ago, a new literary sub-genre exploded onto the publishing scene. The sub-genre in question was dinosaur erotica (no need to beat around the prehistoric bush here – these are books where dinosaurs have sex with humans. You can read our detailed introduction here). And, as sales of these books started to take off, so too did the careers of the pioneering authors behind them.

Among these pseudonymous writers, one name perhaps stands above all others: Dr Chuck Tingle – the Hugo Award shortlisted author of Space Raptor Butt Invasion and My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass. Self-proclaimed as the “greatest author in the world” during one of the most incredible Reddit AMAs to date,  Dr Chuck Tingle is somewhat of a mythical figure – with questions over his identity still very much unanswered.

Always keen to shed light on the work of creatives working around the world, Nothing in the Rulebook reached out to Chuck to see if he would be willing to be interviewed by us. And we were genuinely delighted when he agreed.

It is a rare privilege for the team here at Nothing in the Rulebook are able to interview someone at the very cutting edge of their writing field (not to mention a Tae Kwon Do grandmaster with a PhD from DeVry University in holistic massage). It is therefore a true honour to bring you the following interview.*

INTERVIEWER

Tell us about yourself, your background and ethos.

DR CHUCK TINGLE

My name is DR CHUCK TINGLE and i am from billings montana. i was born in HOME OF TRUTH UTAH with mom and dad and that was a very lonesome time. i was by myself in the fields walkin around learning the ways of the world like what is the wind and why do the trees sing? so then i learned this way. i started writing books there but i gotta hide them under the floor so mom and dad dont know whats going on in the butts heart of man of chuck (then boy of chuck) then one day was THE BIG FIRE and this was a scary way next thing i know im on the road to billings then i became a billings man started a dang life. now i am the worlds greatest author and i like to tell stories but i also like to prove that love is real on all timelines. thanks.

INTERVIEWER

Who inspires you?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

well there are all kinds of ways to be inspired sometimes it is just waking up and hearing the neighborhood birds that inspires my way. thinkin ‘WOW there they are again just talkin their talk and learning about the world maybe i should learn about the world too.’ but other ways of inspiration as a writer is R M STIME hit writer of books THIS LAND IS HORRIBLE AND A MONSTER IS HERE and MY DUMMY IS HANDSOME and DANG THATS A HAND ON THAT DOOR BETTER CLOSE IT so that is important but also STEVES KING writer of JACKS BACK: MY DAD IN THE MAZE and other tales. lets so other insperation is classic jokerman name of ANDYS KAUFMAN he is very funny when he is the worlds fastest taxi driver on television but i do not think this show is on anymore on this timeline. but most of all NUMBER ONE way of chuck insperation is my son jon he is so smart and handsome he always helps out around the neighborhood and i hope one day i can be just like him.

INTERVIEWER

Is writing your first love, or do you have another passion?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

holistic massage is very important but that is JOB not passion as man of chuck and i am retired in this way so yes it is nice to be a big time writer as a FIRST LOVE. i would say i am PASSAIONATE man in a lot of ways to prove love is real actually all timelines, so i am also passionate about TIMELINE TRAVEL it is very interesting to see other ways that the universe could have been or other layers of reality where fish are made of gold or hands are eyes or maybe a timeline where all foods are made of diffrent kinds of bread and thats it. i do not want to live on these timelines but I enjoy learning about their way.

INTERVIEWER

A lot of our readers are quite interested in the rise of dinosaur erotica as a sub-genre in erotic fiction. What is it about dinosaurs, do you think, that makes them so ripe for this kind of writing?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

well i think that they are NOTORIOUS BAD BOYS and that is always a very good character type in a story or maybe in a hot date so i think that is important. everyone likes a bad boy who plays by his own dang rules and says ‘GET THE HECK OUTTA THE WAY THIS TRUCK HAS NO BREAKS LOOK OUT IVE GOTTA SAVE THE DAY’ then they drive it to a cliff and then jump out as the truck goes off the cliff then the bad boy looks at the camera and says ‘lets see truckman do that’ and then the truck explodes behind him and he dosnt look at it just keeps looking at the camera.

INTERVIEWER

As a writer, and human being, how can you imagine a world where humans and dinosaurs co-exist – how do you get inside the heads of your characters to make your stories believable?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

 there are a lot of timelines where dinosaurs and humans trot together including this one so that is an easy part of WRITE WAY YOU KNOW so if i see a handsome dinosaur i will think about his way and say ‘what is it like to be that much of a bad boy’ and then i write and write and write and then son jon takes a look and says ‘wow chuck great job’. so i think it is easy to make this beliveable because we encounter dinosaurs all the time in our daily lives it would be much harder to write about something like ted cobbler being a nice man (this is not possible) so I think i have a simply job as writer thanks.

INTERVIEWER

What is your favourite kind of dinosaur?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

 handsome lawyer dinosaur check please

INTERVIEWER

In your book ‘My billionaire triceratops craves gay ass’, Oliver, the protagonists gay former pet triceratops, is both an erotic dancer and a heavyweight in the financial sector. Firstly, do you think that dinosaurs would be inherently business-savvy, and secondly, did you choose to use dinosaurs as a metaphor for the financial sector in any way?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

 well i do not understand this question entirely but i will give it my best shot i would say that dinosaurs are good in business because of their bad boy way this can mean they are RUTHLESS and sometimes this is not fun to be around thinking ‘dang i hope this dinosaur dosnt bite me with his sharp teeth’ but also they have a lot of CHARISMA and they make people think ‘oh wow i am on the INSIDE TRACK this dinosaur lawyer knows what hes talkin on better follow him around and listen up buddy!’ so this also means that they will probably make a lot of money in these big timer jobs but i do not think that is true of all dinosaurs this is a very broad generalization there are many wealthy living objects cant even imagine how much the sentient manifestion of money has to spend on chocolate milks dang

INTERVIEWER

Are there any taboos or topics you wouldn’t personally write about, or do we remain too much of a prudish society?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

yes i do not write about famous ladybucks because i think they are talked about in this way enough already so it is my way to think, well lets leave that to someone else. but also recently a big time movie company has come to me and said ‘we would like to film a tingler’ so they do not make my perferred pound (bud on bud) but they have said i can write a ladybuck on ladybuck movie for them so i will try that because it is not poking jokes at a famous lady. mostly i would just not like to poke jokes at famous ladies i would like to lift them up instead so that is my line.

INTERVIEWER

 Where do your ideas come from?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

most ideas come as morning meditation first things first gotta wake up and have a big bowl of spaghetti and some chocolate milk then after that go sit on the deck and THINK with a clear mind this is when the best ideas come you just have to listen.

INTERVIEWER

What, do you think, is the most important thing to keep in mind when writing a book?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

 most important thing to keep in mind when making all things as ARTISTIC BUCKAROO is to prove love that is only thing that matters really everything else is just decoration. there are so many ways to prove love so there are lots of options, but it is very important to REMEMBER that only rule for all layers of the tingleverse is that love is real this is consistant across all timelines.

INTERVIEWER

Do you feel any ethical responsibility as a writer?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

i think that it is okay to make any kind of art that is the point of art so i am a FREE SPEECH buckaroo in this way because i think if i see something that i do not like i will just say ‘okay you are wrong in this way but thats okay im going to trot over this way and ignore this now’ and that is just part of life. but for me as MAN NAME OF CHUCK WORLDS GREATEST AUTHOR i have my own set of being responsibles these are not for others they are for me only. and i give myself this task of saying HOW DOES THIS PROVE LOVE? WHY IM I PUTTING THIS INTO THIS TIMELINE? and these are things to consider i think but this is a limit that is different for everyone.

INTERVIEWER

You often say it’s important to remember that LOVE IS REAL. What precisely do you mean by that, and what do we, as a society, need to do more of, in your opinion?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

I have already explained this a bit in earlier questions but this is basically way of saying that on all timelines of reality there are MANY variations but love is always real on every one of them and i think this is a BIG DANG DEAL. because there are so many other things that are not real on some timelines like shoes or dogs or the sky or toms cruz. but love is always real and when you UNDERSTAND this way i think it is easier to enjoy life and ignore the call of the lonesome train.

INTERVIEWER

 The future of literature; of writing, is frequently discussed at great lengths. What are your thoughts on current industry trends – where are we heading?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

as man name of chuck worlds greatest author i think that way of the AUTHOR is interesting one. on other timelines this way is much bigger deal here it is big timer but not BIG BIG TIMER not like famous movie star CHANNING TATUM in SPECIAL MIKE 2: A DANCER’S DREAM STORY. but i do not think there is solution to this really and i think it is okay, but in the future maybe there will just be CREATORS of things big and small and you just expirence them in all of their ways. this is how i feel sometimes because i am worlds greatest author but also i have a podcast and also other projects so i think, maybe i am not just an author and maybe this is the way of the future?

INTERVIEWER

How would you define creativity?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

 being creative is just being yourself and trotting with YOUR OWN unique way. just waking up in the morning and stetching your bones is creative because every moment is making infinate timelines. you are so powerful in your way because for every decision there are so many new worlds spinning off and if that isnt dang creative i dont know what is thanks

INTERVIEWER

 What’s next for you? Are there any exciting new projects or books that we should look out for?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

 i am very excited for erotic film that i am writing it is like tingler but it is with real people (ladybuck and ladybuck) i think that i will work hard to make sure it proves love and make sure that is PUSHES CREATIVE LEVELS UPWARD to create something new and exciting this puts a spring in my trot

INTERVIEWER

Could you write us a story in six words?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

  my last pound, my first love

INTERVIEWER

What are your 10 top tips for aspiring writers and artists?

DR CHUCK TINGLE

  1. drink chocolate milk buddy not that sick water throw that out
  2. you are important and so is your way. this is already a story that can be told
  3. the void is not worth your curiostiy
  4. listen to your buds
  5. there is something to learn from traditional horseplay and there is something to be learned from modern trots. respect both
  6. dont try to tell people what art is you will always be wrong
  7. there is not very much that separates you from a big timers sometimes it is hard work and sometimes it is luck but its almost never talent
  8. spend time with your family
  9. have gratitude if you dont youll look like a goofball and youll feel like one too
  10. prove love always

 

*Please note: all of Dr Tingle’s responses have been reprinted verbatim from our interview with him. Our thanks once again to Chuck for his time!

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Before you go, remember to follow Dr Chuck Tingle on Twitter @chucktingle

Welcome to Jurassic book porn: an introduction to dinosaur erotica

taken by trex

Let’s not beat around the prehistoric bush. Dinosaur erotica exists, and it’s time you knew about it.

Now, there’s a real chance the two types of people reading this article will fall into extremely binary categories: those who have read dinosaur erotica, and those who are now a matter of seconds away from finding out everything you could possibly want to know about a literary sub-genre as extraordinary as it is obscure.

First things first: the basics

Simply put, dinosaur erotica sits within the larger genre of monster erotica (for that, think the vampiric eroticism of E.L. James’ Twilight-inspired fan fiction) – and is made up of books where humans have sex with, yes, dinosaurs.

Generally speaking, plots from the books focus on female warrior maidens in rabbit-skin bikinis and grunting cavemen being seduced by (or, indeed, seducing) a big male dinosaur.

Some of the book titles from within the genre give you a flavour of what to expect. They include Taken by the T-Rex, Space Raptor Butt Invasion, Ravished by Triceratops and Pterodactyl turned me gay. Okay okay, we know that pterodactyls aren’t actually dinosaurs; but this is a fact that doesn’t seem to concern the authors of the books.

Check out some of the craziest dino-porn books (with excerpts and pictures) here

In fact, it sometimes seems like the authors of these books aren’t even bothered by what specific species of dinosaur is performing x or y sex act on which human. The simple fact that there is a large scaly monster doinking your clichéd vision of a smokin’ hot gal or guy seems to suffice more often than not.

Indeed, in the timeless title A billionaire dinosaur turned me gay, by Hunter Fox (not his real name), nothing seems to matter beyond the fact that there is a billionaire dinosaur that is gay for humans (in this sense, perhaps Fox should be given recognition for writing a six word story that even Hemingway wouldn’t know what to do with). At just 15 pages long, readers receive little description of the prehistoric terror lizard apart from the fact that it is a vaguely “greenish-purple” colour and has claws and a penis. But who needs these details? All Fox seems to think readers require to get off to their dino-porn is a main character who’s father hates dinosaurs in positions of power (we can’t imagine what he’d think of Donald Trump or Theresa May), but who nonetheless succumbs to the striking, Christian Grey-esque allure of this financially savvy dinosaur. Observe:

“I grabbed the dinosaur’s cock with my hands and began rubbing it in circles while I sucked on its shaft.”

Ignore the fact that this line seems so awkward as to be describing something that may not be physically possible, let alone sexy or erotic – and instead concentrate on the fact that the main character is having sex with a dinosaur, and you may start to understand the appeal of this style of erotic fiction.

So, just how sexy is the dinosaur sex?

Of course, we know that the question you want answered as quickly as possible is whether or not the books are going to get you off or not. This isn’t just us being exceptionally gifted psychics – it’s just basic human psychology at work: after all, when a person opens a new tab on the internet, the first question anybody asks themselves is “can I masturbate to this?” And while we’re not ones to say what anybody should or shouldn’t pleasure themselves to, we will try to give an honest appraisal of whether or not the sex in dinosaur erotica is actually erotic or sexy.

Now, when it comes to writing about sex, we have some history in this area – trawling through the archives to compile the ultimate compendium of bad sex in fiction. Simply put, the sex described by the authors of these literary novels compared to that contained within the world of dinosaur erotica just does not compare.

We therefore thought the best thing to do in this situation was to compile some of our favourite quotes here below (and here, too). Make of these what you will:

“This grunting, grinding, growling lizard” – Taken by the T-Rex

“She caught the girth of its fat cock in her hands and drew it towards her body, increasing the area of nerve endings which were being stimulated. The T-Rex seemed to appreciate the gesture […] it seemed as if time stood still. There was nothing in the entire world apart from this grunting, grinding, growling lizard and Drin, wrapped around its cock. She managed to bring her legs up, locking her ankles around its wet dick as well, the entire length of her body becoming a cunt for this animal to fuck.

[…]

Unbelievably, Drin started to feel herself building up toward another intense climax. As she came, she clutched tightly onto the big lizard’s dick, her arms and legs tightening on the throbbing, red hot member. The Tyrannosaurus Rex yelled loudly as pints of white fluid shot from the tip of its fat cock. Once, twice, and then a third time the big lizard rammed its shaft against her naked body.”

“The great, scaly beast” – In the velociraptor’s nest

“A reptilian tongue, stiff and hot, dashed out to lick at the tender, naked flesh so suddenly exposed. Azog gasped at the touch, then gradually relaxed as her body warmed to the intoxicating sensation of the beast’s flesh against her own. She wasn’t sure if her arousal was because of her earlier thwarted climax in the cool stream, or if she was just desperate for one last pleasant sensation before being torn limb from limb by the great, scaly beast. Either way, Azog relished the rasp of its tongue, hot and rough, on her sensitive skin.”

“The raptor quickly slashed away the rest of her hide, watching with wide black eyes as the leather fell at her feet. It seemed to take its time, sniffing at her young hot body. Azog quivered with fear and desire. The cave was hot, and now sweat began to gather at her throat and glisten across her supple skin. She could feel every bead of sweat as it caressed her naked body, feel the raptor’s gaze upon her human flesh. Azog suddenly understood what she would have to do to survive. She offered her body, naked and yielding, sweaty and raw, moist hot and wet, as a sacrifice to the beast. Perhaps if she pleased it, she would be allowed to live. If not, she would leave this world as she entered it, naked and screaming.”

My billionaire triceratops craves gay ass

“Oliver’s* scales feel rough but pleasant against my face, a reminder of his beastly dominance as he takes my hands and pushes them back above my head.

[…]

I rub my fingers across Oliver’s toned abs, even more impressive than the last time I saw them on our family vacation to Greece.

“You’ve been working out,” I manage to say through the flurry of kisses.

“Dancing,” he responds. “It’s good for a dinosaur’s bod.”

From this angle I can see his incredible body, toned and muscular due to a rigid dance routine that could only be accomplished by the most disciplined of prehistoric creatures.

[…]

Finally, I’m just too horny to take it any longer. I pull Oliver out of my mouth and the (sic) desperately command, “fuck me right now, I need you in my asshole with that triceratops dick!”

Oliver shakes his head in mock disappointment. “What are we going to do with you? Such a nasty little human twink, you need a real dinosaur to show you how to fuck.

[…]

He feels incredible inside of me, now a seasoned gay lover who knows exactly where to thrust within a man. I can feel a prostate orgasm slowly creeping its way across my body, puling (sic) inside of me with more and more power until it finally explodes across me in a sensual wave.”

*FYI: Oliver is the protagonist’s pet triceratops, who makes it big in the city and becomes a burlesque dancer.

What do others think?

Whatever you make of the above examples, dinosaur erotica is undoubtedly an explosive phenomenon. Some of the best-selling authors behind the books (usually self-published) have earned so much from their craft that they have been able to quit their day jobs. With titles usually costing a couple of dollars on Amazon, online readers have not been shy to share their views on the works they have purchased.

We’ve compiled our favourite reader-reviews of dinosaur erotica for your viewing pleasure here.

Amazon reviewer Bang2Write, for example, says of Taken by the T-Rex:

“This is a fantastic story that really helped both myself and my partner to reignite some spice into the bedroom.

My partner has always loved dinosaurs from a young age and I myself love the idea of dressing up in different outfits and role-playing scenarios that could be considered odd.

Taken by the T-Rex has allowed us to fuel both of our less conventional, sexual desires whilst also giving us an interesting and gripping story to read. I could not a rate this e-book highly enough.”

Meanwhile, Guardian book reviewer, Damien Walter, has taken an alternative view on the qualities (or lack thereof) of Billionaire dinosaur forced by gay by Hunter Fox, writing:

“Perhaps the writing can be forgiven if there is an underlying meaning to it all. Indeed, it seems like there might be an important message about race and economic inequality hidden in this story about financially-savvy dinosaurs taking over the world. We learn early on that the main character, John, has a father who is a bigot and can’t tolerate dinosaurs in positions of power. However, if we follow the real-world analogue too far, it gets very questionable very quickly. The billionaire dinosaur is just as bigoted (“how do you think we as a species have risen so quickly to the top?” he asks rhetorically, apparently referring to all dinosaurs as a species), and John later comes to agree with his intolerant father. Awkward.

So I’ll be clear: A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay has no intrinsic redeeming qualities. It is horribly written, morally questionable, and even the sex in it seems like an afterthought.”

Basic instinct

In summary, therefore, dinosaur erotica may not be the place to come for the highest calibre of writing (although it might just help you breathe some life into your relationship). Yet the popularity of the sub-genre – marginal and confined to the fringes though it may be – speaks to something that these books have to offer.

But what exactly is that?

Clarissa Smith, Media and Cultural studies professor at Sunderland University, suggests this type of erotic fiction speaks on some level to our basic human instinct. She says:

“There are a number of pleasures potentially on offer here – the fact that this is really fantasy. Even if there is evidence that dinosaurs existed, we don’t know masses about them, and they have mythological qualities. The idea of having sex with one is outside the realms of possibility. It’s a bit like ‘magic’, where all rules become suspended, and for that reason it may well allow … for kinds of imaginative risk-taking impossible in more standard couplings.”

If nothing else, then, the very existence of dinosaur erotica speaks to the incredible extent of the human imagination. And if this hasn’t convinced you to consider reading Ravished by the triceratops, then quite frankly we don’t know what will.

Dinosaur erotica: excerpts and pictures

If you’re reading this, it’s likely because you are as fascinated as we are by the quite frankly insane world of dinosaur erotica.

We’ve already compiled a detailed introduction to the sub-genre that will help get you up to speed with the scaly, sexy goings on of this monster erotica sub-genre.

Now, we’re going one step further and giving you some of our favourite excerpts and book titles (with pictures, of course). Enjoy!

  1. My billionaire triceratops craves gay ass

 billionaire triceratops.jpg

Synopsis: Jeremy was never quite sure about his feelings for Oliver, his gay pet dinosaur, until Oliver scores big and leaves home to pursue his dreams of being a dancer.

Years later, the two of them reconnect for dinner in New York City, and realize that there may have been more to their relationship besides prehistoric pet and master. Now a wealthy socialite, Oliver the triceratops is willing to take another chance on Jeremy, and soon the two find themselves locked in a passionate evening of gay human-dino love.

Juiciest Jurassic quote:

“The dim, romantic lighting is enough to make anyone look sexy, but Oliver has clearly aged beautifully. He was always a good-looking dinosaur, but the specks of grey that now dot his scales have added an air of self-assured beastliness. Oliver’s also dressed way been (sic) than he ever did when he was my pet, the cutthroat world of male burlesque doing a complete one-eighty on his previously tired fashion sense.”

  1. Taken by the T-rex

taken by trex.jpg

Synopsis: Drin is her tribe’s chief huntress; she lives for the thrill of the hunt. Men and sex hold no allure for her, as Drin has never found a partner to satisfy her. When a T-Rex descends upon her village, destroying it, Drin demands that the tribe’s hunters go in search of the beast and slaughter it. Opting for safety instead of revenge, the tribe moves to a new location, hoping that the big beast won’t follow them.

It does.

Drin taunts the beast, giving her tribes mates time to flee. As she runs, leading it through a gauntlet of traps, the thrill of the hunt soars through her blood, leaving her wet with desire. When the angry T-Rex corners the huntress in a box canyon, it seems more interested in her wet womanhood than in her flesh.

Tightest Triassic quote:

“She caught the girth of its fat cock in her hands and drew it towards her body, increasing the area of nerve endings which were being stimulated. The T-Rex seemed to appreciate the gesture […] it seemed as if time stood still. There was nothing in the entire world apart from this grunting, grinding, growling lizard and Drin, wrapped around its cock. She managed to bring her legs up, locking her ankles around its wet dick as well, the entire length of her body becoming a cunt for this animal to fuck.”

  1. Ravished by the Triceratops

triceratops ravished.jpg

Synopsis: Beliria’s pride has gotten her into trouble again.

Before she can complete her rites of womanhood and take her place in the tribe, she must provide a kill for her tribe. Beliria chooses to hunt the most dangerous herbivore on the plains, the Tri-Horn. No single hunter has ever successfully taken a Triceratops, but Beliria is determined to be the first. Naked, with no food, water, or provisions beyond her weapons, Beliria sets out. Tracking the Tri-Horn, she lays a cunning ambush, but it isn’t cunning enough.

Her attack caused the big bull Triceratops to lose his mate. Now he intends to replace her- with Beliria!

Horrified and aroused by the horned giant, Beliria must find a way to control the situation, or she may find that this Tri-Horn is really too much for her to handle.

Perfect pre-historic quote:

“It may have been the best sex I’d ever had, but I didn’t want to do it again.”

  1. Taken by the Pterodactyl

taken by the pterodactyl.jpg

Synopsis: Dianne is a shepherd, watching over flock of sheep. She is sworn to protect them against any predators– no matter the size. But when a flock of pterodactyls attack, Dianne has no choice but to use herself as bait to draw their attention away from her precious flock. One pterodactyl swoops in and picks her up, taking her to his nest. She fully expects to be eaten by the massive beast, but when it starts to peck her clothes away, leaving her naked, she begins to understand that the pterodactyl might have carnal pleasures in mind. Dianne finds herself excited by the prospect and acquiesces. But can Dianne accommodate such a massive creature?

Craziest Cretaceous quote:

“Don’t be so stupid,” she scolded herself. “What, are you going to live up a tree your whole life, getting fucked by a dinosaur?”

“She let out a heavy sigh; the idea was appealing, it just wasn’t practical.”

  1. In the Velociraptor’s nest

 velociraptor's nest.jpg

Synopsis: Azog is an underappreciated cavewoman in her tribe. The cavemen treat her like a piece a meat. They disrespect her at every turn and never listen to anything she says. Azog cannot change this unless she proves herself as a hunter. When she goes out in search of fresh meat, she discovers a clutch of baby velociraptors and decides to kill them and triumphantly bring them back to her tribe. That is, until their father shows up and blocks Azog’s way out of the cave. Azog must use all of her womanly wiles to get out of the cave, which includes doing things she had never dreamed of.

Ravishing raptor quote:

“The raptor quickly slashed away the rest of her hide, watching with wide black eyes as the leather fell at her feet. It seemed to take its time, sniffing at her young hot body. Azog quivered with fear and desire. The cave was hot, and now sweat began to gather at her throat and glisten across her supple skin. She could feel every bead of sweat as it caressed her naked body, feel the raptor’s gaze upon her human flesh. Azog suddenly understood what she would have to do to survive. She offered her body, naked and yielding, sweaty and raw, moist hot and wet, as a sacrifice to the beast. Perhaps if she pleased it, she would be allowed to live. If not, she would leave this world as she entered it, naked and screaming.”

  1. Billionaire dinosaur forced me gay

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Synopsis: The year is 2014 and dinosaurs have gained control of the world economy due to exceptionally accurate stock predictions. After graduating from NYU with a business degree, John is hired to be the assistant for one of the largest trading firms on Wall Street. His boss, the CEO of the company is highly regarded as the best businessman of the century. Only difference is that he is a dinosaur!

Juiciest Jurassic quote:

“My father had never liked the dinosaurs ever since they began taking control of the world economy. When I was growing up he tried to condition me to hate them, too. I never did though. I thought that they had just as many rights as we did. They shouldn’t be punished because they had extremely accurate stock predictions in the eighties, becoming the single leading force of Wall Street presently. I was more grateful that Mr. Anderson (a dinosaur) was going to take a chance on me and let me be his assistant.

‘Yes Dad, he’s the dinosaur billionaire. He’s also my boss now so please don’t lecture me on them again.’”

  1. Space raptor butt invasion

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Synopsis: Space can be a lonely place, especially when you’re stationed by yourself on the distant planet Zorbus. In fact, Lance isn’t quite sure that can last the whole year before his shuttle pod arrives, but when a mysterious visitor appears at Lance’s terraforming station, he quickly realizes that he might not be so alone after all.

Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual.

It’s not gay if it’s a man and a dinosaur, is it?

Craziest Cretaceous quote:

“I kiss Orion deeply, one last time. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in with me?” I ask.

“I don’t think it’s going to help your case,” the raptor replies. “I mean, some people just don’t understand that love is real. You’ve gotta put yourself in there (sic) position. They’re so used to everything working a certain way, women kissing men, men kissing men… not men kissing dinosaurs.”

  1. Mating with the Raptor

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Synopsis: Marga was the Protectress, the city’s leader, charged with defending it against dinosaur attacks. It is her sworn duty to protect her city at all costs, even when a pack of velociraptors attack her and her men at a small, undermanned outpost outside of the city.

The battle is a vicious one, and after a daring maneuver to save a fellow soldier, she finds herself trapped by the pack leader, a powerful male. The creature captures the Protectress and takes her to his cave. Will this raptor make the Protectress his next meal? Or does the beast have different plans for the beautiful warrioress?

Ravishing raptor quote:

“Marga looked down, and noticed the heavy green pouch hanging between the raptor’s legs… Her mouth gaped when she saw a pink mass emerge from it. Suddenly, the raptor began to move his hips towards her, punching the air with his swollen member that glistened in the light of the cave. In that instant, Marga understood, though the reality was hard to grasp… The thought disgusted and terrified her.”

  1. Dino park after dark

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Synopsis: Dino Park houses the New Dinosaurs- beasts created by scientists from residual DNA. The park is open to the public, who come to see the big carnivores and the classic, well-known herbivores. Smaller, gentler dinosaurs perform for the public.

Maria trains the marine reptiles- she’s been working with the same plesiosaur for more than three years. He’s friendly, well trained, and greedy. One night, Maria stays late to feed her plesiosaurus and disaster strikes- she tumbles into his pool.

The plesiosaur isn’t just greedy, he’s hungry. The only one of his kind, he’s been lonely and amorous for years. But now Maria, the human he’s imprinted on, is in his element and he’s got a lot of pent-up frustration to work out.

Tightest Trirassic quote:

“Maria thought that perhaps the creature was going to lift her from the water and save her, she felt a bump from behind. Holding the platform with both hands, she kicked and kicked until her pants, along with her panties, slipped down her legs and joined her shoes at the bottom of the murky water. Suddenly, she felt something thick and large between her legs – a dinosaur. She couldn’t understand what she was feeling. She had no idea what it was and she didn’t have the strength to hold herself above the water while she looked. The large stiff object slid between her thighs and prodded at her vagina. Whatever it was, was thick and hard and although it had a knot on the end. A thickly rounded bell shape that pushed inside her. It was big. Bigger than any man.”

  1. Spinosaurus wet dreams

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Synopsis: Sheila has been having strangely erotic dreams about a Spinosaurus. She can’t seem to go to sleep without dreaming about it and then waking up completely aroused. How is this going to affect her work performance and how is she going to handle her growing sexual desires when her boss happens to be a Spinosaurus himself?

Craziest Cretaceous quote:

“The mud would help cover up her scent. It was nice and cool as she smeared it on, helping to ease the heat of the humid morning, and felt strangely sensual as she rubbed it all over her firm, young breasts, down her toned belly, and even between her legs. Sheila made a note that she would have to experiment with this some more at a another time when her life wasn’t in danger.”

 

Like what you see? Check out what others are saying about dinosaur erotica in our compilation of real-life book reviews

Head on over to our ‘sex in fiction’ page for all your erotic literary resources 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dinosaur erotica: what the reviews say

We’ve delved deep into the frankly bonkers world of dinosaur erotica as part of our ‘sex in fiction’ series. Now, not only can you find out all you need to know about this literary phenomenon through our in-depth introductory guide, but you can also get an insightful glimpse into this monster erotica sub-genre of literary erotica through our helpful collection of excerpts from some of the most famous dino-erotica book titles (with pictures, of course).

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But while dinosaur erotica can make millions of dollars for its authors, what do the people actually buying the books think of them? To find out – and to help you if you’re considering purchasing a couple of these books yourself – we’ve compiled some of our favourite reviews from the readers of dino-erotica themselves. Check them out below!

“Dinosaurian magic” – Richard W Girdwood 

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“After reading Michael Crichton’s Jurassic Park I was left feeling scientifically fulfilled but emotionally distraught. Now I know why.

I have to recommend this most heartily. I was transfixed by the subtle arrangement of words into a tale of lust, so much so I struggled to read for more than say, 2-3 minutes at a time, often having to take short breaks between reads to recompose, arrange short expeditions to find edible berries, spear neighbour’s dogs and clean up the Kindle.

Needless to say those 2-3 minutes were spent deep in the mindset of a caveperson, wondering what dinosaurian magic might come next. After reading this literary wet dream I wouldn’t mind a Velociraptor opening my door handle at night!

I would love to see her branch into other forms of prehistoric erotica, such as ammonites and giant sloths, or fantasy creatures. Cthulhu with his many tentacles comes to mind. Bravo!”

Something about the description of this mid-sized dromaesaurid was getting me hot and bothered” – VelociFAPtor

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“I was at a stagnant place in my love life when I purchased this book. I hadn’t been able to get aroused by the usual erotic novels that women like me take a common liking towards, so I was just taking a shot in the dark with this book. I’ve always been a fan of Dinosaurs but never knew how much I truly loved them until I got to page 3 of this masterpiece. I began to feel wet immediately, something about the description of this mid-sized dromaeosaurid was getting me hot and bothered again. I was hooked as if they claws of the reptilians in this book had reached out and touched me with arousal themselves. Trust me ladies, weather you’re a hardcore dinosaur fan or just mildly amused by the film “Jurassic Park”, this is not a book you want to pass up. “In the Velociraptor’s Nest” will give you that pleasant sensation you’ve been looking for and you’ll find yourself relished for the rasp of a raptors tongue. I give it 5 out of 5 stars.”

“Shouldn’t have been hot but it was” – Author K Webster

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“Wow! This story shouldn’t have been hot but it was! Marie was such a naughty girl with the dinosaur! Will they have mutant babies???? Jim is a perv but I liked his character and wish he got his chance with her too. I will read more by this author.”

“Tale of aerodynamic arousal will warm your heart, and groin” – John H 

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From start to finish, this piece is reminiscent of a controversial episode of animated classic, “The Flintstones”, in which a similar thing happens involving Wilma and the garbage disposal. While they resolved to replace the disposal (prompting the comment “I guess I’m getting disposed now!” and a humorous wap-wahhh sound), in this book they go a different direction: a very arousing one.

Easily the highest point of this book (no spoilers) is when they’re up in the air, though while the shepherd is on the ground is by far the low point. It has its up and downs, but this tale of aerodynamic arousal will warm your heart, and groin.

I will admit, though: you’ll never look at your local museum the same again. I walked by the dinosaur exhibit, and whispered “Pterodactyl? More like tear-me-dactyl…” and licked my lips while walking away. The lip-licking was due to being out of chapstick, but you get my point.

“A lot of unanswered questions” – LCisMe

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“This story was short and lacked character development. WHY was Dianne taken by the pterodactyl? Why did the pterodactyl keep her? And how will she survive in his nest? This story left me with a lot of questions, and I don’t think the author is planning a sequel.”

“The Wuthering Heights of Billionaire Gay Dinosaur Fiction” – Liam Pierce 

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“I strongly recommend replacing the word “his” with “his billionaire dinosaur” at every opportunity. It puts you that much more in the moment.”

“Having sex with a dinosaur would be a lot of fun” – Daniel Michael Cowan

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“Not only does Dr. Tingle paint a vivid picture of the future colonization of faraway moons and planets, he also really drives home the message that having sex with a dinosaur would be a lot of fun.”

“Makes a great retirement gift” – 

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“I thought this was going to be just like every other book of gay dinosaur erotica, but I was so wrong! If you ever read 50 Shades of Grey thinknig, “If only the mysterious billionaire was a homosexual dinosaur…” this is the book for you. You’ll bite your nails as you wonder whether the two characters will get together, you’ll cry as they talk about past pains, and you’ll shiver with delight as author Chuck Tingle turns up the heat.

Now that Kindle allows you to give books as gifts, this becomes the perfect gift for your favorite new graduate, your best friend’s birthday, or a pair of newlyweds who could use some steamy reading in their honeymoon suite. It even makes a great retirement gift, saying, “Yes, you’re old now – but dinosaurs are ancient and they’re still getting it on.””