Welcome to Jurassic book porn: an introduction to dinosaur erotica

taken by trex

Let’s not beat around the prehistoric bush. Dinosaur erotica exists, and it’s time you knew about it.

Now, there’s a real chance the two types of people reading this article will fall into extremely binary categories: those who have read dinosaur erotica, and those who are now a matter of seconds away from finding out everything you could possibly want to know about a literary sub-genre as extraordinary as it is obscure.

First things first: the basics

Simply put, dinosaur erotica sits within the larger genre of monster erotica (for that, think the vampiric eroticism of E.L. James’ Twilight-inspired fan fiction) – and is made up of books where humans have sex with, yes, dinosaurs.

Generally speaking, plots from the books focus on female warrior maidens in rabbit-skin bikinis and grunting cavemen being seduced by (or, indeed, seducing) a big male dinosaur.

Some of the book titles from within the genre give you a flavour of what to expect. They include Taken by the T-Rex, Space Raptor Butt Invasion, Ravished by Triceratops and Pterodactyl turned me gay. Okay okay, we know that pterodactyls aren’t actually dinosaurs; but this is a fact that doesn’t seem to concern the authors of the books.

Check out some of the craziest dino-porn books (with excerpts and pictures) here

In fact, it sometimes seems like the authors of these books aren’t even bothered by what specific species of dinosaur is performing x or y sex act on which human. The simple fact that there is a large scaly monster doinking your clichéd vision of a smokin’ hot gal or guy seems to suffice more often than not.

Indeed, in the timeless title A billionaire dinosaur turned me gay, by Hunter Fox (not his real name), nothing seems to matter beyond the fact that there is a billionaire dinosaur that is gay for humans (in this sense, perhaps Fox should be given recognition for writing a six word story that even Hemingway wouldn’t know what to do with). At just 15 pages long, readers receive little description of the prehistoric terror lizard apart from the fact that it is a vaguely “greenish-purple” colour and has claws and a penis. But who needs these details? All Fox seems to think readers require to get off to their dino-porn is a main character who’s father hates dinosaurs in positions of power (we can’t imagine what he’d think of Donald Trump or Theresa May), but who nonetheless succumbs to the striking, Christian Grey-esque allure of this financially savvy dinosaur. Observe:

“I grabbed the dinosaur’s cock with my hands and began rubbing it in circles while I sucked on its shaft.”

Ignore the fact that this line seems so awkward as to be describing something that may not be physically possible, let alone sexy or erotic – and instead concentrate on the fact that the main character is having sex with a dinosaur, and you may start to understand the appeal of this style of erotic fiction.

So, just how sexy is the dinosaur sex?

Of course, we know that the question you want answered as quickly as possible is whether or not the books are going to get you off or not. This isn’t just us being exceptionally gifted psychics – it’s just basic human psychology at work: after all, when a person opens a new tab on the internet, the first question anybody asks themselves is “can I masturbate to this?” And while we’re not ones to say what anybody should or shouldn’t pleasure themselves to, we will try to give an honest appraisal of whether or not the sex in dinosaur erotica is actually erotic or sexy.

Now, when it comes to writing about sex, we have some history in this area – trawling through the archives to compile the ultimate compendium of bad sex in fiction. Simply put, the sex described by the authors of these literary novels compared to that contained within the world of dinosaur erotica just does not compare.

We therefore thought the best thing to do in this situation was to compile some of our favourite quotes here below (and here, too). Make of these what you will:

“This grunting, grinding, growling lizard” – Taken by the T-Rex

“She caught the girth of its fat cock in her hands and drew it towards her body, increasing the area of nerve endings which were being stimulated. The T-Rex seemed to appreciate the gesture […] it seemed as if time stood still. There was nothing in the entire world apart from this grunting, grinding, growling lizard and Drin, wrapped around its cock. She managed to bring her legs up, locking her ankles around its wet dick as well, the entire length of her body becoming a cunt for this animal to fuck.

[…]

Unbelievably, Drin started to feel herself building up toward another intense climax. As she came, she clutched tightly onto the big lizard’s dick, her arms and legs tightening on the throbbing, red hot member. The Tyrannosaurus Rex yelled loudly as pints of white fluid shot from the tip of its fat cock. Once, twice, and then a third time the big lizard rammed its shaft against her naked body.”

“The great, scaly beast” – In the velociraptor’s nest

“A reptilian tongue, stiff and hot, dashed out to lick at the tender, naked flesh so suddenly exposed. Azog gasped at the touch, then gradually relaxed as her body warmed to the intoxicating sensation of the beast’s flesh against her own. She wasn’t sure if her arousal was because of her earlier thwarted climax in the cool stream, or if she was just desperate for one last pleasant sensation before being torn limb from limb by the great, scaly beast. Either way, Azog relished the rasp of its tongue, hot and rough, on her sensitive skin.”

“The raptor quickly slashed away the rest of her hide, watching with wide black eyes as the leather fell at her feet. It seemed to take its time, sniffing at her young hot body. Azog quivered with fear and desire. The cave was hot, and now sweat began to gather at her throat and glisten across her supple skin. She could feel every bead of sweat as it caressed her naked body, feel the raptor’s gaze upon her human flesh. Azog suddenly understood what she would have to do to survive. She offered her body, naked and yielding, sweaty and raw, moist hot and wet, as a sacrifice to the beast. Perhaps if she pleased it, she would be allowed to live. If not, she would leave this world as she entered it, naked and screaming.”

My billionaire triceratops craves gay ass

“Oliver’s* scales feel rough but pleasant against my face, a reminder of his beastly dominance as he takes my hands and pushes them back above my head.

[…]

I rub my fingers across Oliver’s toned abs, even more impressive than the last time I saw them on our family vacation to Greece.

“You’ve been working out,” I manage to say through the flurry of kisses.

“Dancing,” he responds. “It’s good for a dinosaur’s bod.”

From this angle I can see his incredible body, toned and muscular due to a rigid dance routine that could only be accomplished by the most disciplined of prehistoric creatures.

[…]

Finally, I’m just too horny to take it any longer. I pull Oliver out of my mouth and the (sic) desperately command, “fuck me right now, I need you in my asshole with that triceratops dick!”

Oliver shakes his head in mock disappointment. “What are we going to do with you? Such a nasty little human twink, you need a real dinosaur to show you how to fuck.

[…]

He feels incredible inside of me, now a seasoned gay lover who knows exactly where to thrust within a man. I can feel a prostate orgasm slowly creeping its way across my body, puling (sic) inside of me with more and more power until it finally explodes across me in a sensual wave.”

*FYI: Oliver is the protagonist’s pet triceratops, who makes it big in the city and becomes a burlesque dancer.

What do others think?

Whatever you make of the above examples, dinosaur erotica is undoubtedly an explosive phenomenon. Some of the best-selling authors behind the books (usually self-published) have earned so much from their craft that they have been able to quit their day jobs. With titles usually costing a couple of dollars on Amazon, online readers have not been shy to share their views on the works they have purchased.

We’ve compiled our favourite reader-reviews of dinosaur erotica for your viewing pleasure here.

Amazon reviewer Bang2Write, for example, says of Taken by the T-Rex:

“This is a fantastic story that really helped both myself and my partner to reignite some spice into the bedroom.

My partner has always loved dinosaurs from a young age and I myself love the idea of dressing up in different outfits and role-playing scenarios that could be considered odd.

Taken by the T-Rex has allowed us to fuel both of our less conventional, sexual desires whilst also giving us an interesting and gripping story to read. I could not a rate this e-book highly enough.”

Meanwhile, Guardian book reviewer, Damien Walter, has taken an alternative view on the qualities (or lack thereof) of Billionaire dinosaur forced by gay by Hunter Fox, writing:

“Perhaps the writing can be forgiven if there is an underlying meaning to it all. Indeed, it seems like there might be an important message about race and economic inequality hidden in this story about financially-savvy dinosaurs taking over the world. We learn early on that the main character, John, has a father who is a bigot and can’t tolerate dinosaurs in positions of power. However, if we follow the real-world analogue too far, it gets very questionable very quickly. The billionaire dinosaur is just as bigoted (“how do you think we as a species have risen so quickly to the top?” he asks rhetorically, apparently referring to all dinosaurs as a species), and John later comes to agree with his intolerant father. Awkward.

So I’ll be clear: A Billionaire Dinosaur Forced Me Gay has no intrinsic redeeming qualities. It is horribly written, morally questionable, and even the sex in it seems like an afterthought.”

Basic instinct

In summary, therefore, dinosaur erotica may not be the place to come for the highest calibre of writing (although it might just help you breathe some life into your relationship). Yet the popularity of the sub-genre – marginal and confined to the fringes though it may be – speaks to something that these books have to offer.

But what exactly is that?

Clarissa Smith, Media and Cultural studies professor at Sunderland University, suggests this type of erotic fiction speaks on some level to our basic human instinct. She says:

“There are a number of pleasures potentially on offer here – the fact that this is really fantasy. Even if there is evidence that dinosaurs existed, we don’t know masses about them, and they have mythological qualities. The idea of having sex with one is outside the realms of possibility. It’s a bit like ‘magic’, where all rules become suspended, and for that reason it may well allow … for kinds of imaginative risk-taking impossible in more standard couplings.”

If nothing else, then, the very existence of dinosaur erotica speaks to the incredible extent of the human imagination. And if this hasn’t convinced you to consider reading Ravished by the triceratops, then quite frankly we don’t know what will.

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Dinosaur erotica: excerpts and pictures

If you’re reading this, it’s likely because you are as fascinated as we are by the quite frankly insane world of dinosaur erotica.

We’ve already compiled a detailed introduction to the sub-genre that will help get you up to speed with the scaly, sexy goings on of this monster erotica sub-genre.

Now, we’re going one step further and giving you some of our favourite excerpts and book titles (with pictures, of course). Enjoy!

  1. My billionaire triceratops craves gay ass

 billionaire triceratops.jpg

Synopsis: Jeremy was never quite sure about his feelings for Oliver, his gay pet dinosaur, until Oliver scores big and leaves home to pursue his dreams of being a dancer.

Years later, the two of them reconnect for dinner in New York City, and realize that there may have been more to their relationship besides prehistoric pet and master. Now a wealthy socialite, Oliver the triceratops is willing to take another chance on Jeremy, and soon the two find themselves locked in a passionate evening of gay human-dino love.

Juiciest Jurassic quote:

“The dim, romantic lighting is enough to make anyone look sexy, but Oliver has clearly aged beautifully. He was always a good-looking dinosaur, but the specks of grey that now dot his scales have added an air of self-assured beastliness. Oliver’s also dressed way been (sic) than he ever did when he was my pet, the cutthroat world of male burlesque doing a complete one-eighty on his previously tired fashion sense.”

  1. Taken by the T-rex

taken by trex.jpg

Synopsis: Drin is her tribe’s chief huntress; she lives for the thrill of the hunt. Men and sex hold no allure for her, as Drin has never found a partner to satisfy her. When a T-Rex descends upon her village, destroying it, Drin demands that the tribe’s hunters go in search of the beast and slaughter it. Opting for safety instead of revenge, the tribe moves to a new location, hoping that the big beast won’t follow them.

It does.

Drin taunts the beast, giving her tribes mates time to flee. As she runs, leading it through a gauntlet of traps, the thrill of the hunt soars through her blood, leaving her wet with desire. When the angry T-Rex corners the huntress in a box canyon, it seems more interested in her wet womanhood than in her flesh.

Tightest Triassic quote:

“She caught the girth of its fat cock in her hands and drew it towards her body, increasing the area of nerve endings which were being stimulated. The T-Rex seemed to appreciate the gesture […] it seemed as if time stood still. There was nothing in the entire world apart from this grunting, grinding, growling lizard and Drin, wrapped around its cock. She managed to bring her legs up, locking her ankles around its wet dick as well, the entire length of her body becoming a cunt for this animal to fuck.”

  1. Ravished by the Triceratops

triceratops ravished.jpg

Synopsis: Beliria’s pride has gotten her into trouble again.

Before she can complete her rites of womanhood and take her place in the tribe, she must provide a kill for her tribe. Beliria chooses to hunt the most dangerous herbivore on the plains, the Tri-Horn. No single hunter has ever successfully taken a Triceratops, but Beliria is determined to be the first. Naked, with no food, water, or provisions beyond her weapons, Beliria sets out. Tracking the Tri-Horn, she lays a cunning ambush, but it isn’t cunning enough.

Her attack caused the big bull Triceratops to lose his mate. Now he intends to replace her- with Beliria!

Horrified and aroused by the horned giant, Beliria must find a way to control the situation, or she may find that this Tri-Horn is really too much for her to handle.

Perfect pre-historic quote:

“It may have been the best sex I’d ever had, but I didn’t want to do it again.”

  1. Taken by the Pterodactyl

taken by the pterodactyl.jpg

Synopsis: Dianne is a shepherd, watching over flock of sheep. She is sworn to protect them against any predators– no matter the size. But when a flock of pterodactyls attack, Dianne has no choice but to use herself as bait to draw their attention away from her precious flock. One pterodactyl swoops in and picks her up, taking her to his nest. She fully expects to be eaten by the massive beast, but when it starts to peck her clothes away, leaving her naked, she begins to understand that the pterodactyl might have carnal pleasures in mind. Dianne finds herself excited by the prospect and acquiesces. But can Dianne accommodate such a massive creature?

Craziest Cretaceous quote:

“Don’t be so stupid,” she scolded herself. “What, are you going to live up a tree your whole life, getting fucked by a dinosaur?”

“She let out a heavy sigh; the idea was appealing, it just wasn’t practical.”

  1. In the Velociraptor’s nest

 velociraptor's nest.jpg

Synopsis: Azog is an underappreciated cavewoman in her tribe. The cavemen treat her like a piece a meat. They disrespect her at every turn and never listen to anything she says. Azog cannot change this unless she proves herself as a hunter. When she goes out in search of fresh meat, she discovers a clutch of baby velociraptors and decides to kill them and triumphantly bring them back to her tribe. That is, until their father shows up and blocks Azog’s way out of the cave. Azog must use all of her womanly wiles to get out of the cave, which includes doing things she had never dreamed of.

Ravishing raptor quote:

“The raptor quickly slashed away the rest of her hide, watching with wide black eyes as the leather fell at her feet. It seemed to take its time, sniffing at her young hot body. Azog quivered with fear and desire. The cave was hot, and now sweat began to gather at her throat and glisten across her supple skin. She could feel every bead of sweat as it caressed her naked body, feel the raptor’s gaze upon her human flesh. Azog suddenly understood what she would have to do to survive. She offered her body, naked and yielding, sweaty and raw, moist hot and wet, as a sacrifice to the beast. Perhaps if she pleased it, she would be allowed to live. If not, she would leave this world as she entered it, naked and screaming.”

  1. Billionaire dinosaur forced me gay

 billionaire dinosaur 1.jpg

Synopsis: The year is 2014 and dinosaurs have gained control of the world economy due to exceptionally accurate stock predictions. After graduating from NYU with a business degree, John is hired to be the assistant for one of the largest trading firms on Wall Street. His boss, the CEO of the company is highly regarded as the best businessman of the century. Only difference is that he is a dinosaur!

Juiciest Jurassic quote:

“My father had never liked the dinosaurs ever since they began taking control of the world economy. When I was growing up he tried to condition me to hate them, too. I never did though. I thought that they had just as many rights as we did. They shouldn’t be punished because they had extremely accurate stock predictions in the eighties, becoming the single leading force of Wall Street presently. I was more grateful that Mr. Anderson (a dinosaur) was going to take a chance on me and let me be his assistant.

‘Yes Dad, he’s the dinosaur billionaire. He’s also my boss now so please don’t lecture me on them again.’”

  1. Space raptor butt invasion

 space raptor.jpg

Synopsis: Space can be a lonely place, especially when you’re stationed by yourself on the distant planet Zorbus. In fact, Lance isn’t quite sure that can last the whole year before his shuttle pod arrives, but when a mysterious visitor appears at Lance’s terraforming station, he quickly realizes that he might not be so alone after all.

Soon enough, Lance becomes close with this mysterious new astronaut, a velociraptor. Together, they form an unlikely duo, which quickly begins to cross the boundaries of friendship into something much, much more sensual.

It’s not gay if it’s a man and a dinosaur, is it?

Craziest Cretaceous quote:

“I kiss Orion deeply, one last time. “Are you sure you don’t want to come in with me?” I ask.

“I don’t think it’s going to help your case,” the raptor replies. “I mean, some people just don’t understand that love is real. You’ve gotta put yourself in there (sic) position. They’re so used to everything working a certain way, women kissing men, men kissing men… not men kissing dinosaurs.”

  1. Mating with the Raptor

mating with the raptor.jpg 

Synopsis: Marga was the Protectress, the city’s leader, charged with defending it against dinosaur attacks. It is her sworn duty to protect her city at all costs, even when a pack of velociraptors attack her and her men at a small, undermanned outpost outside of the city.

The battle is a vicious one, and after a daring maneuver to save a fellow soldier, she finds herself trapped by the pack leader, a powerful male. The creature captures the Protectress and takes her to his cave. Will this raptor make the Protectress his next meal? Or does the beast have different plans for the beautiful warrioress?

Ravishing raptor quote:

“Marga looked down, and noticed the heavy green pouch hanging between the raptor’s legs… Her mouth gaped when she saw a pink mass emerge from it. Suddenly, the raptor began to move his hips towards her, punching the air with his swollen member that glistened in the light of the cave. In that instant, Marga understood, though the reality was hard to grasp… The thought disgusted and terrified her.”

  1. Dino park after dark

dino park after dark.jpg 

Synopsis: Dino Park houses the New Dinosaurs- beasts created by scientists from residual DNA. The park is open to the public, who come to see the big carnivores and the classic, well-known herbivores. Smaller, gentler dinosaurs perform for the public.

Maria trains the marine reptiles- she’s been working with the same plesiosaur for more than three years. He’s friendly, well trained, and greedy. One night, Maria stays late to feed her plesiosaurus and disaster strikes- she tumbles into his pool.

The plesiosaur isn’t just greedy, he’s hungry. The only one of his kind, he’s been lonely and amorous for years. But now Maria, the human he’s imprinted on, is in his element and he’s got a lot of pent-up frustration to work out.

Tightest Trirassic quote:

“Maria thought that perhaps the creature was going to lift her from the water and save her, she felt a bump from behind. Holding the platform with both hands, she kicked and kicked until her pants, along with her panties, slipped down her legs and joined her shoes at the bottom of the murky water. Suddenly, she felt something thick and large between her legs – a dinosaur. She couldn’t understand what she was feeling. She had no idea what it was and she didn’t have the strength to hold herself above the water while she looked. The large stiff object slid between her thighs and prodded at her vagina. Whatever it was, was thick and hard and although it had a knot on the end. A thickly rounded bell shape that pushed inside her. It was big. Bigger than any man.”

  1. Spinosaurus wet dreams

spinosaurus.jpg

Synopsis: Sheila has been having strangely erotic dreams about a Spinosaurus. She can’t seem to go to sleep without dreaming about it and then waking up completely aroused. How is this going to affect her work performance and how is she going to handle her growing sexual desires when her boss happens to be a Spinosaurus himself?

Craziest Cretaceous quote:

“The mud would help cover up her scent. It was nice and cool as she smeared it on, helping to ease the heat of the humid morning, and felt strangely sensual as she rubbed it all over her firm, young breasts, down her toned belly, and even between her legs. Sheila made a note that she would have to experiment with this some more at a another time when her life wasn’t in danger.”

 

Like what you see? Check out what others are saying about dinosaur erotica in our compilation of real-life book reviews

Head on over to our ‘sex in fiction’ page for all your erotic literary resources